Sunset over Lake Michigan, August 2011

I’ve decided to start making videos again!

I have been making videos inconsistently since 2010… after almost 2 years of regular posing on YouTube and about 340 videos, I just burned out and I wanted privacy and freedom from the schedule, the pressure, and all the messages. As a result, I’ve intentionally been disconnected for a long while now, but these days I’m feeling more consistently extroverted and wanting to be connected and open. I’ve decided to commit to one video a week for the whole of 2012, or 52 videos for the year. (!!!!) In addition, I am going to make time to write in this blog once a week for my own enjoyment – 52 posts in the year 2012!

I’ve been through much in the last 1.5 – 2 years, only some of which has made its way into video: meeting and falling in love with Cory; learning about veganism in detail; bouncing up and down in weight around my goal weight; traveling to Seattle, Chicago & Michigan, Austin, and Yosemite National Park twice, and of course moving to Texas; really focusing on sustainable living; changing my personal style quite a bit; and becoming in many ways a much more calm, whole, happy, and mature person. I feel like I’m a completely different person from who I was in 2010! But I am, of course, still me and just more educated, experienced, balanced and aware :P

Lake Michigan - On my 26th birthday, August 20, 2011

Meeting Cory was definitely the number one most influential change in my life, followed by moving to Texas and having all my plans crash down around me. Oh, growing pains! It’s been a crazy ride, with equal ups and downs that have made me so much stronger and wiser.

I’ve been yearning for balance for a long time now without being able to attain it. Recently, I decided to switch my mindset and just BE balanced every day. All day, every day, I pay attention to my actions and feelings and I breathe deeply and make sure to enjoy every thing that I do. Suddenly, miraculously, balance has just come to me! I think being “balanced” is all about your own perspective on yourself and your life, and mine has really become a positive one as of late. There’s a season for everything, and I feel that my season for knowing balance is here :)

And regarding falling in love, I don’t mind that prolonged imbalance… as Ketut Liyer was quoted saying in the book Eat, Pray, Love:

To lose balance sometimes for love is part of living a balanced life.

:D

I wasn’t sure whether you all were still interested in watching my videos, after such a long period of sporadic video-making and broken promises on my part, but I guess you do! The status I posted to facebook about my new 2012 goals is the most popular status I have ever posted. Holy moly! Thank you, all, for following along! :D I hope I can continue to inspire and educate, and to love you through my little screen on YouTube :)

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Tags: balance, birthdays, cory, deep thought, mindset, musings, photos of me, self-improvement

I am overwhelmed today! You guys!

I woke up this morning to hundreds of happy-birthday messages smiling out at me from my inbox! Overnight, you lovelies flooded my wall, my latest video, and my twitter replies with birthday greetings from all different countries in all different languages, and they’re still pouring in. I can’t believe the amount love being sent my way today – it’s very humbling. I am so incredibly blessed to be here with you all :)

This morning Cory woke me up with a card, a balloon, and a gorgeous red-plum orchid. He’s so goddamn sweet :D

I’m thrilled to have another orchid for the house because Maddie and I accidentally killed the purple one Nicole got me last fall (booo), and I’m excited because this orchid is spiky and reddish which is the perfect energy for the coffee table area of the apartment. [Excellent job, there, Cory :D]

“…and so, for your birthday, I’m giving you this promise as part of my gift — to love you even more and make you even happier, to make all our days together days to remember always.”

The card Cory gave me was beautiful and made me cry :”>

And little did Cory know, I absolutely love balloons ;) I don’t think I’ve been given a balloon for my birthday since I was 16. I swear to god I am thrilled by this balloon! I’m taking it with me to dinner tonight.

Jason brought over his gifts for me last night – including an amazing sixties-inspired smock dress with quarter-length sleeves and a large b&w print of roses and chains on it, omg I love it! – and his card had a beautiful message on the front, which was incredibly appropriate:

Birthday Agenda:

Dream of what you love — then dream a little bigger. Share what you love — and get more in return. Do what you love — and inspire the world.

Words to live by. <3

I don’t know what I’ll be doing tonight for sure, but I know Cory and I are going to dinner at this Ethiopian place I love and then going to Jason’s for a gathering of sorts. I’ll have more to report tomorrow, I’m sure :P

Thank you, everyone, for making this morning so incredibly special :)

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Tags: birthdays, cory, love, my lovelies